Sunday, August 24, 2008

how do u feel?

i'm bloggin from a rich persons house.. this is how i feel



"THEYRE NOT RICH ELAINE.!!!"


i'm pretty bummed out but eatin popcorn and thinkjin about anahi in a spaceship w percocets hopefully make it better





also there are small dogs here that i wish were in bee costumes.
kbye

Friday, August 22, 2008

Powered by Pizza!

"She has developed a simple, cheap way of producing solar cells in a pizza oven that could eventually bring power and light to the 2 billion people in the world who lack electricity."


Full article here




Thursday, August 21, 2008

Myspace meat

yeah look at that!!!
plus this Craigslist add that comes via Blake ( the old Demarest floor admin):

Manly Bike for Sale - $150 (Old Fig )


Reply to: sale-806721820@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-21, 12:09PM PDT

Bike for sale


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

Screw that whole dreaming of sheep thing



Saturday, August 16, 2008

i want to go nap in a yurt

i'm really fucking tired

i wish we were at a cat expo


marissa lets move in together somewhere (i promise i won't knee you in the crotch again)
and we can name our house yet another brilliant name

(ie. fat camp, sals steak, shop rite)

ok i love you bye

Friday, August 15, 2008

A Future Thing of Note

Having shows under that railway tunnel thingamagoo in Johnson Park is a good idea. Just make sure you're clear to people where it is and how to get there, otherwise things get messy. Another thing of note: you'd think there'd be a great echo in there, but such was not the case last Thursday - or ever?



edit/ps/also: alex and i were totally just blogging at the same time! ohhhh shitttt!

My birthday is coming up

And I've found what I want:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/ats/796908991.html

or:

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/ats/796360767.html

Thursday, August 14, 2008

seperated at birth

marissa paternoster: lil ginger

etrain Higgins: she's a troll

marissa paternoster: i want pics

etrain Higgins: i'll have to scan some pics

yea!

marissa paternoster: SAME BRAIN

etrain Higgins: her husband is part dwarf

PART DWARF

marissa paternoster: HAAAHAAAAAA

etrain Higgins: its intense.

like lil weird arms

marissa paternoster: does he have little arms

etrain Higgins: nhahdfh

marissa paternoster: SAME BRAIN

OH MY GODDDDD

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

things that happened underground

Today the subways were full of surprises.

First, I was talking to Alex, Greg, and Gabe (Alex's roomie since he moved out of the basement) on the platform, when they noticed a man hobbling along on the tracks. None of us being able to process what was going on, I turned around to see another man reaching down toward the track and saying "What the hell are you doing?!" He pulled the man half way out, when simultaneously the man began resisting and a train started pulling up. Luckily, he was pulled up just in time. Like a movie! The deranged man just stumbled down the platform, wearing killer pink and green socks and a CVS-esque apron in place of a shirt.
It was creepy. My guess is he got back on the tracks as soon as the train pulled away.

THEN!!
we sat next to Gibby Haynes on the train! I think he heard Greg say "Butthole Surfers", he looked down and didn't seem especially enthusiastic to respond? I really wanted to stand next to him, and see how tall he is, but he got off before I had the chance.

Then, on the way back to Penn to get home, Greg and I watched a very drunk Spanish moron next to us jump onto the track! Obviously, he couldn't get out on his own.
I'd never expect that I'd see 2 people have to get pulled up from subway tracks on the same day! This guy was just stooopid.


Oh yeah, also, we went to Gray's Papaya, and got the recession special: 2 hot dogs and a juice for 350. That was above ground, though.
I think I need to go eat a piece of fruit.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Friday, August 1, 2008